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Sunday, September 19, 2010

BENDER YANG BAIK HATI

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم


gambar hiasan

“Nak di jadi satu cerita malam semalam lu tau Mat Gorn, gua bawak superbike gua. Alih-alih ada sorang minah ni dia cilok tak lepas. Sekali bergesel lak ngan sorang mamat tu. Apa lagi jatuh terterap la dua-dua ekor. Gua ada betul-betul depan dorang masa dorang sujud sahwi kat atas tar tu. Gua amanahkan la brek brembo gua. Gua percaya brek gua boleh berkhidmat kepada gua. Tak sia-sia gorn. Gua brek sikit punya cengkam dalam speed 180km/j gak gua tekan masa tu...fuhhhh..berapa inci jer dari halkum awek tu. Gua berpeluh tak ingat. Gua ingat cecah dah. Sekali tengok steady lagi.”

Bender bercerita dengan penuh kusyuk dan tawaduk sambil berhenti menghela nafasnya yang terputus-putus. Di teguknya air sirap bandung yang sudah mencair aisnya. Mat Gorn dan mat Piah kusyuk mendengar sebab hari itu karen tiada di taman perumahan mereka. Jadi mereka bertiga mengambil keputusan yang lebih kurang muktamad untuk melepak minum di Bandar Perda. Seperti Biasa, Mat Piah akan dipaksa membayar kesemuanya. Mat Piah Pasrah. Matanya dilihat seakan-akan berkaca ketika didalam kereta.

“Habis tu? Soal Mat Piah

“Ish...tak habis lagi. Panjang lagi nih. Jap-jap ek..........Eh Piah, ari ni ari apa?

“Errr......Rabu.

“Khamis la...apa lak rabu lu ni Piah.” Pintas Mat Gorn membetulkan ralat Mat Piah

“Ari ni ada cerita best lak kat TV ni aii...leh lupa lak aku.”

“Cerita apa?”

“Semanis kurma! Ustazah Siti Norbaiyah tu.....dengan Darling dia!”

“Rumah lu ada genereator Bender?”

“Takde.”

“Kalau takde sambung cerita tadi sampai abis. Nak balik tengok TV konon. Caitt toya mat amin! Mana ada karen!”

“Haaa...sampai mana aku cerita tadi?”

“Sampai brek tayar cecah halkum!” Jawab Mat Gorn dan Mat Piah serentak.

“Brek cecah halkum...Brek cecah halkum....ha ingat dah...gua sambung k. Camni cerita dia. Lepas gua tengok tayar gua nak cecah halkum dia, gua pun apa lagi turun la tengok. Fuhhh..steady lagi. Gua pimpin la dia bangun. Lembut weh tangan dia. Hehehe…tapi tu la orang kita ni Mat Gorn,sorang pun taknak tolong dia. Dok main hon-hon kereta jer. Gua pun apa lagi, sound terus!…

“woi…hon-hon apa! Tak nampak ker orang nak buat CPR nih!” Pastu terus diorang tak berani hon dah. Ada yang menyorok belakang signboard ada, tepi devider jalan pun ada, belakang Public Phone pun ada 2 orang. Tapi gua tak tau la. Dua-dua tu menyorok takut gua ker atau beromen belakang tu entah..tapi gua buat muka ketat gak arr masa tu.

Muka Mat Piah direka seakan-akan poyo. Mat Gorn hendak tergelak. Bukan kerana mendengar cerita Bender. Tetapi kerana melihatkan rupa mat piah yang memang tak boleh blah itu. Sebiji macam Harun Salim Bachik!

“Lepas tu lu buat CPR ker? Soal mat Piah. ”

“Ish...gua melawak jer part tu. Dah dia boleh bangun, CPR apanya lagi. Lu tau pastu gua tengok mamat yang langgar dia tu terus blah tak tunggu dah. ”

“Shial la...gua tak sempat nak kejar sebab tangan gua di rentap erat oleh awek tu.”

“Habis tu? ”

“Habis tu gua bawak dia ke tepi. Tolak motor di kat tepi. Gua tak nampak muka dia sebab tutup visor helmet. Gua tanya la kot-kot ada sakit mana-mana. Gua suruh dia kilas tangan, kaki, tengkok apa ker semua yang patut. Tengok berfungsi ker tak.”

“Lu suruh dia kilas ker…lu yang tolong kilaskan?”

“Dia kilas sendiri la gorn. Gua semayang maghrib cukup lu tau tak! Dosa semua tu!”

“Tapi siyes Gorn. Dia punya body. Fuhhhh....memang mantop gorn! Lu kalau tengok, gua ingat mau lu jilat tiang letrik kat tepi tu atas bawah. Siyes weh…! ”

“Tadi cakap semayang maghrib lu ni..yer la sambung la cepat!”

“Pastu Gua cerita la pasal biodata gua. Pung pang pung pang dekat 15minit jugak la. Budak tu senyap jer. Pastu dia bukak visor. Gua terperanjat Mat Gorn..gua terperanjat nih!”

“Apsal?”

Dia mintak no phone gua plak. Shial laaa....gua terus blah. Tak kalih belakang dah!”

“Apasal lu bengap sangat? Bagi jer la.”

“Bukak-bukak visor tengok bapok doh....kalau tak, gua tak cakap la gua nak langgar halkum dia tadi!”

Bender tergelak puas mengekek. Mat Piah cuba mencari objek tumpul sebagai bahan bukti dalam kes polis jika dia berjaya menghentak bender sampai koma.

- manapiranha.blogspot.com


UNTUK TEMAN-TEMAN BLOGGERS YG MELAWAT BLOG INI, TINGGALKANLAH SEPATAH DUA KOMEN UNTUK DIJADIKAN PERINGATAN AGAR AKU X TERLUPA UNTUK MELAWAT BLOG KALIAN KEMBALI.. INSYA ALLAH.. ASTAGHFIRULLAH AL-AZHIM..ASTAGHFIRULLAH AL-AZHIM..ASTAGHFIRULLAH AL-AZHIM..

71 comments:

mr.panda said...

kah3....macam bangang jek cter...hahahaha

best lorr..tp knape laaa bapokk..eeee...hahahaha

di sebalik wajahku.. said...

salam..
sy dpat bayangkan.. funny2.keh3 trgelak sorang2!

Jijahh @ f.k said...

hahaha lawak laaa ... serius .. tak perasan tang halkum tu ... heheheh

maiyah said...

hahahaha..lawak :D

Anonymous said...

alhamdullilah awek tu selamat...

Allah maha besar..

semuanya selamat -itulah yang kita
mesti ada dalam doa kita


khong khek khuat

iddinm said...

mcm ceta rekaan je ni...hehe

De IeMaN HeRbS said...

huhuhu.. siyes lawak cite ni..
suspen je si Bender bercerita..
agak2 mat piah bunuh tak bender pastu..hehehe

CintaNajihah said...

hahaha. 2 la, gatai ngat~

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